


Coffee Cups and Photographs

by island0fmisfittoys



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Bullying, Depression, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Hollstein - Freeform, Human Carmilla Karnstein, I'm Bad At Summaries, Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein Fluff, Mental Health Issues, Past Abuse, Past Violence, Protective Laura Hollis, Social Anxiety, Tiny Gay Laura Hollis, Violence, honestly summaries suck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:48:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25390384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/island0fmisfittoys/pseuds/island0fmisfittoys
Summary: "Depression is when you don't really care about anythingAnxiety is when you care too much about everythingand having both is just like hell"They're both struggling...just in different ways.Carmilla is less broody, but struggles with social anxiety and depression. Laura is less oblivious but still the little ball of sunshine everyone loves...most of the time at least
Relationships: Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein
Comments: 68
Kudos: 88





	1. Mondays

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Everyone!  
> I'm not sure how active this fandom is anymore since its been a hot minute since there was any new content...but the last week I've fallen back down the creampuff rabbit hole and I decided to finally write something for this fandom.  
> I hope you like it!

Mondays.

Laura couldn’t be 100% sure, but she was fairly confident that no one really enjoyed Mondays. She wasn’t any exception, especially when her Monday’s started off with an 8:00am lecture for her ‘Intro to Law’ class.

_ ‘Seriously, whoever thought that was a good idea shouldn’t be in charge of scheduling’ _

Thankfully the lecture was only two hours, and almost always ended early. Which Laura guessed was a small miracle, considering their Thursday lecture for this class almost never ended early. It was like the Prof didn’t even want to be there on Mondays.

Laura shrugged her shoulders and tightened her grip on the straps of her backpack as she walked across campus towards the library, or more specifically towards the cafe that was attached to the library. 

She was a month into her first year at Silas University and she had quickly settled into a routine for her Mondays. She would wake up and pour herself a cup of coffee to drink on her way to her first class, then afterwards she would make her way to the campus cafe to spend her five hours break between classes (yes, five hour break) drinking more coffee and eating all the cookies she could afford. Thankfully she wasn’t the only person with a crappy start to her week, all her friends had early morning classes on Mondays as well. Laf had an ‘Ethics for the Health Sciences' class that ended at 10:00am as well but was even farther away from the cafe than Laura’s class so she usually beat them there. Danny and Kirsch had a three hour ‘Biology I’ class that ended at 11:00 and Perry had some sort of business lecture that ended at noon. They would all slowly trickle into the cafe after their first class to get a drink and study before having to leave for their next class. It was a routine that was repeated every Monday and Thursday for the last month...but for some reason it held more importance to Laura on Mondays.

She made it to the cafe in record time, she pulled on the handle and walked inside. The cafe itself was attached to the library, but only structurally, the back wall where the kitchen was attached to the library so if you wanted to move from the library to the cafe or vice versa you had to actually walk outside. Which Laura knew would become a pain once the winter months hit and the four feet of snow made simply going outside an extreme sport. 

Laura shook her head and tightened her grip on her backpack straps, hosting her bag up a little as she walked up to the counter.

“Hi SJ”

The brunette barista smiled at Laura while moving over to the coffee machine

“Hey! Your usual? Coffee with an extra shot of espresso and a chocolate chip cookie?”

Laura beamed at her,

“Yes Please!”

Laura moved over to the booth near the door that her and her friends usually sat at, shrugged her backpack off and plopped down onto the seat. It was the only booth inside the cafe, it was large and ‘U’ shaped, creating enough room for everyone. Laura pulled her laptop out of her backpack and looked around while she waited for it to reboot.

As usual for this time on a Monday, the cafe was basically empty. The cafe itself was in the shape of a half circle, the back where the kitchen was making up the flat portion. The door into the cafe on the right-hand side of the building right where the back of the cafe and the curve of the front meet.The front, curved portion was made up of floor to ceiling glass windows, with a bar style table and chairs running along the inside. There was a handful of tables and chairs scattered throughout the middle of the cafe, all currently unoccupied, and a small fireplace on the other side of the cafe with a dark brown leather couch and two matching leather chairs situated around it and a small coffee table in the middle.

Curled up on the couch was the same girl that’s there every Monday morning. Her back was always facing towards Laura, so she had yet to ever actually see the girl's face. But she had spent an embarrassing amount of time studying the girl and was fairly confident that she could recognize her based off of her leather jacket and jet black wavy hair alone at this point. The other girl was always already there when Laura arrived, sitting with her back up against the right sided armrest, her legs stretched out across the rest of the couch. She was always reading a book and had a mug sitting beside her on the table.

_ ‘I wonder what she’s reading...You know there is nothing stopping you from going over there and introducing yourself...and say what exactly? “Hi there, my name’s Laura and I’ve spent the last month studying the back of your head, can I buy you a drink?” I think not...God…’ _

Laura let out a frustrated sigh the same moment Laf came through the door,

“SJ, caffeine! All the caffeine! An IV of caffeine”

Laura laughed as Laf slide into the booth beside her,

“Rough morning?”

“Frosh...you have no idea. I won’t be able to stay long today, I have an emergency meeting with one of my groups...someone contaminated our control samples and we have to start the process all over again!” 

Laura winced at the news, she wasn’t really into the sciences but she had spent enough time with Laf to know that contaminated control samples was not a good thing.

“I’m sorry Laf”

Laf just shrugged and sighed while pulling out their laptop. SJ came over a couple minutes later with both their drinks and Laura's cookie. They worked in relative silence for the next hour, only really stopping for a break when Danny and Kirsch showed up and slid into the booth. 

“Hey guys, how was your class?”

Kirsch shrugged while reaching over to steal the last piece of Laura’s third cookie,

“Boring”

Laura swatted Kirsch’s hand as he popped the piece of cookie in his mouth,

“Kirsch!”

Laura pouted, mourning the last of her cookie, debating whether or not she could justify buying a fourth cookie and a second coffee in less than an hour and a half.

“Come on Hollis, what was that? Your fourth cookie? You really shouldn’t be eating that much sugar in the mornings anyway”

Laura pouted, but her pout quickly disappeared and was replaced with a neutral expression, lips firmly pressed together. She knew Danny was probably right, but Danny’s constant need to tell her what she should be doing was starting to get on her nerves. They’ve had this conversation every Monday and Thursday for the past month. She already had a super overprotective dad, she didn’t need her friends treating her the same way. But it was Monday morning and Laura simply didn’t have the energy to argue with Danny at the moment. She knew her and Kirsch would be leaving with Laf in an hour,

_ ‘I’ll just wait and order more once they leave’ _

Laura just sighed and slumped her shoulders while pulling her focus back to her laptop. She had a paper due Friday for her English Lit class, and she was hoping to get it finished today so she could spend the rest of the week studying for her first midterm for her Law class that was scheduled for next Monday. 

Laura spent the next 30 minutes completely focused on her paper, so focused she almost missed SJ placing a cookie and a coffee cup in front of her, a piece of paper tucked into the sleeve around the cup. Laura’s brow furrowed,

“SJ I didn’t order this”

“No, someone asked me to give it to you.”

Laura’s brow furrowed more, confusion written across her face, she looked at her friends but they just shrugged their shoulders, equally confused. Danny looked slightly annoyed but Laura chose to ignore that for the moment.

“Who?”

“The girl on the couch” SJ point behind her with her thumb, to the now vacant couch “She was just there I swear”

Laura scanned the caffe, looking for the mystery girl when she heard the door chime. She looked over just in time to see the back of a leather jacket slip out the door. Laura smiled softly to herself and pulled out the piece of paper tucked into the sleeve of her coffee.

  
  
  
  


_ ‘Enjoy cutie :)’ _

  
  
  
  
  


Laura grinned, maybe Monday’s weren’t so bad after-all.


	2. Cupcake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Guys, Gals, and Non-binary Pals!  
> Two Chapters in two days!? Crazy right!? lol I had the idea for this chapter and I just had to write it, and then I decided to just post it right away rather than sit on it for a few days :)
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> P.s Laura's outfit for this chapter is basically the Season Two Owl Vest outfit but instead of an owl its a cupcake...if I could draw it I would...but I can't so hopefully I can just describe it well enough lol (even if I could draw I don't know how to input pictures so.... :P)
> 
> P.s.s Thank you all so much for your comments! They really mean so much to me and they definitely gave me the motivation to write this

The next two days came and went in a blurr, so before she knew it, it was Thursday morning and Laura was heading back to the campus cafe by the library. Tuesdays and Wednesdays were long, full of seemingly back-to-back lectures, tutorials, and group meet ups and her Thursdays started with a two hour ‘Intro to Law’ lecture. Laura was drained, she needed caffeine if she was going to survive the rest of her day. Her grip tightened around her backpack straps as she slowly dragged herself to the cafe, she let herself move on autopilot as her mind wandered back to the mystery girl and the note she left her on Monday. A small smile breaking across her lips.

_‘I wonder if she’ll be there today? Well….she usually is there when you’re there, has been for the last month, no real reason for today to be any different...I should talk to her today, and I finally have a legitimate reason to make conversation! I can thank her for the cookie and the coffee!’_

Before she knew it Laura was standing outside of the cafe doors,

_‘Okay, you’re going to go in there and talk to her! No problem!...What if she isn’t there?...well then you can talk to her next time but if she is there you are talking to her today!’_

Laura nodded her head to herself and pulled down on her vest. She was wearing blue jeans, a burgundy blouse, the bottom tucked into her jeans and the cutest sweater vest. It was a cream colour and had the picture of a cupcake sewn onto the front. She had gotten a few looks and pointed snickers during her class this morning but Laura honestly didn’t care. She liked it and to her that was all that mattered. She pulled down on her vest again, straightening it out, nodded her head to herself one more time and reached out to grab the handle.

“Oof”

Laura stumbled to the side as a stranger bumped into her outstretched arm.

“Shit! I’m sorry! I’m in a bit of a rush and wasn’t paying attention”

Laura looked over and shook her head, waving it off with her hand,

“Don’t worry about it, it’s okay”

Then she finally looked at who was standing in front of her, an odd sense of familiarity washed over her but she ignored it. The guy standing in front of her had a warm smile on his face, short and neatly styled jet black hair, a jawline to kill for and a perfect complexion of pale skin. He nodded to her and pulled the door open, rushing inside.

“Sorry about him, I told him we needed to hurry but I didn’t mean he had to plow through everyone on his way”

Laura looked over at the new voice and her eyebrows shot up, her jaw dropped slightly. She whipped her head back towards the cafe, and saw the guy from before walking towards one of the empty leather chairs by the fireplace, then she whipped her head back towards the guy standing in front of her. They were identical, the only difference was the hair, while the first guy wore his hair short and styled, the second had longer hair, shaggy, almost reaching his shoulders.

“Twins?”

The guy smiled, the same warm smile she received a second ago.

“Identical, yes.”

Laura nodded her head and smiled,

“Cool! Twins...that’s umm...cool”

The guy in front of her laughed lightly and smiled again,

“It has its moments, I can assure you...I am in a bit of a hurry though, sorry again about my brother.”

And just like that Laura was standing in front of the cafe doors, by herself. She shook her head while reaching out and opening the door.

_‘Weird day’_

  
  
  


Laura walked into the cafe and started to make her way over towards the leather couch by the fireplace. The familiar sight of a leather jacket and black wavy hair, caused a smile to spread across her face. Then she noticed that the mystery girl wasn’t alone, the two guys from before were sitting in the two chairs by the couch, talking to the girl. But before Laura could think on it any longer her thoughts were interrupted,

“Frosh!”

Laura spun around, now facing the booth and was greeted by Laf waving her over. Laura looked back over towards the couch, the girl had moved from her previous position of sitting with her back up against the arm rest to sitting on the couch facing forwards, her feet planted on the floor. Laura could see the girl rubbing the palms of her hands across her thighs, her long wavy hair falling forward shielding her face from view. The three of them were whispering so Laura had no idea what they were talking about, but she was definitely curious. The guy with the short hair was digging around in his backpack for something, he was sitting in the chair to the left of the coach so he was facing towards Laura, she could see the soft smile on his face before he turned his focus to looking for whatever he was trying to pull out of his bag. His brother was sitting in the chair on the right side of the coach, closest to the girl. Laura saw him reach out and place his hand on the girls right shoulder. Laura winced and almost walked over to them when she saw the flinch that tore through the other girl's body at the touch, but decided against it when she saw her quickly relax into the touch. Her shoulders slumping forward, her hands pausing their movements across her thighs. 

Laura decided not to intrude and walked over and slid into the booth next to Laf.

“How’d you get here before me? You’re never here before me”

Laura listened to Laf’s response, something about their Prof. not showing so the class left after waiting the required 20 minutes and they decided to just spend their time in the cafe rather than walking back to the dorms. Laura nodded her understanding, as Laf went off on a tangent about Profs being held accountable for not showing up to lectures, Laura tuning most of it out as she turned her attention back towards the fireplace.

The guy with the short hair seemed to finally find what he had been looking for and pulled out a white paper bag, a huge grin on his face as he held it out towards the girl. His smile fell when she ignored him and started rubbing her palms against her thighs again. Laura could see both brothers sigh as the first one picked up the messenger bag sitting propped up against the coffee table by the girls feet and stuffed the paper bag inside. She watched them talk for a couple more minutes before the brothers got up and walked out of the cafe. Laura watched the other girl. She could see her back move with her breathing, expanding and rising slowly, then the movement seemed to freeze for a few seconds and then the girls back relaxed slowly. The girl's hands pushing into her thighs rougher than they were before. Laura watched a few cycles of the breathing before recognizing it as “Box Breathing” a technique used by a lot of people who suffer from anxiety. Laura frowned but kept watching, after a few more minutes Laura saw the girls hands stop moving as she twisted her body and flung her legs back onto the coach, taking up her usual position. She picked up her book and had seemingly returned to reading. 

“Frosh!”

Laura snapped her head around towards Laf, shaking it and focusing on her friend,

“Huh?...me? What?”

Laf just shook their head and laughed,

“Zone out there much? I was asking if you were still coming over tomorrow night for our Harry Potter movie marathon?”

Laura’s eyes widened,

“Oh! Umm...I don’t know...I mean I really want to, but I have my first midterm on Monday and it’s for my stupid Law class and I honestly don’t feel ready for it. And it’s my first ever University exam of any kind so I’m kinda nervous about it. So I don’t know…”

Laura’s ramblings were cut off by Laf placing their hand on her shoulder,

“Breathe, I mean, you could always take a break and come hang out for the first movie or two? Then go back. Trust me when I say you do not what to pull all nighters of studying...they are not good for you”

Laura winced as did the mystery girl on the coach, though this went unseen by Laura who had started pulling her laptop out of her backpack. Laura had heard what happened to Laf during their first year, a massive burnout, one that she did not want to experience herself. 

Unknown to Laura and Laf, the mystery girl was also in her third year at Silas, and although she didn’t know or speak to Laf directly she had definitely heard about their burnout...most of their year did...it was talked about almost like a cautionary tale. She couldn’t help but wince at the memory. She ran her fingers along the page of her book as she felt her anxiety spike slightly. She felt bad for always eavesdropping but she justified it by convincing herself that it wasn’t totally her fault. First of all, the girl with the honey coloured hair was...loud, and the girl’s friends weren’t any better. Secondly, the cafe was almost always otherwise empty when they were there so it was kind of impossible not to hear what they were talking about.

“That might be a good idea, study breaks are a must”

Laf smiled,

“Plus Perry is making cookies so I mean…

“Well now I’m definitely coming”

Both friends laughed and then settled into a comfortable silence as Laura pulled her laptop out of her backpack. Laura was punching in her password when Laf spoke again,

“So are you going home for reading week?”

Laura shook her head,

“No, dad has to go away for work that week so it just makes more sense for me to stay here rather than go home just to be on my own.”

Laf nodded, while scratching out something in their notebook.

“What about you? Still going home to visit Perry’s family?”

Laf beamed at her,

“Ya, we’re leaving next Friday after her last class”

Laura smiled back and nodded. She was kind of sad that she would essentially be spending her first University reading week on her own, but she figured that meant she could get a head start on some of her assignments...or binge watch all of Doctor Who while eating cookies and lounging around in her pajamas...both are perfectly acceptable options in her opinion.

Laura was snapped out of her thoughts as SJ came over and placed a coffee cup and a chocolate chip cookie down in front of her. Laura smiled at her,

“Thanks SJ! I’ll come up in a minute to pay for it!” Laura started digging through her backpack for her wallet, “I just need to grab my card”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s already paid for”

Laura’s brow furrowed in confusion and looked at Laf, who just shook their head,

“Don’t look at me, I told Perry I’d stop fueling your cookie habit”

Laura roller her eyes and laughed at their response, before turning her attention back to SJ,

“No, it was the same girl as last time, she asked me to bring over your usual order”

Laura looked over towards the couch only to see it empty, a frown formed on her face as she once again found herself scanning the cafe trying to find the mystery girl. Only to snap her head towards the door, a second too late, as it chimed and saw the back of a leather jacket as the girl slid out the door as a group of students walked in.

Laura smiled to herself and actively ignored Laf's quiet snickering, as she turned her attention back to the coffee cup, again there was a small piece of paper neatly tucked into the sleeve. Laura pulled out the paper, unfolded it and read the note, her smile growing as she did

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_‘Enjoy, cupcake ;)’_

Underneath was a very well drawn and very detailed picture of the Slytherin House Crest, and under that,

  
  


_‘P.s Good Luck on your Midterm’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading!  
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter :)
> 
> Please feel free to leave a comment letting me know your thoughts, feedback, suggestions for future chapters, anything :)  
> Seriously, I live for comments :D
> 
> Next chapter probably won't be up for a few days/next week because I still need to write something for my three other stories...but I'll do my best to not leave you all hanging for too long :)


	3. Polaroids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
> This chapter took a bit of a darker turn than I expected...it does include a depressive episode just to give everyone a heads up. I don't want to trigger anyone but I'm also still kinda new to this so idk how or when to place trigger warnings.  
> I personally have social anxiety, GAD, and depressive episodes and I know that everyone who deals with these things experience them in different ways. So I've pulled from personal experience when writing these things.  
> That being said, I don't know much about photography (I do beading for self-care) so if I make mistakes please let me know!

_BEEP BEEP_

_._

_._

_._

_BEEP BEEP_

_._

_._

_._

_BEEP BEEP_

Laura groaned into her pillow and cracked an eye open, only to close it again and groan louder at the brightness seeping in through her blinds. She reached out with her right hand and patted around the top of her desk/nightstand until she found her phone. She grabbed it and swiped to turn off the alarm without even looking at the screen before rolling over and going back to sleep.

Now, 99% of the time Laura truly was fine, she honestly was. She was sincerely the little ball of sunshine that everyone knew and loved. She was happy, kind, sweet and had a tendency to ramble whenever she got nervous or excited, or scared, or angry...well she just had a tendency to ramble in general. 

Laura’s mom had walked out of her and her dad when she was 10, and then died in a car accident four years later. This left Laura with a lot of unanswered questions. Laura knew that her mom had dropped out of College to get married and have her, which is something Laura assumed she resented, and thus being the reason she left in the first place. It was tough, being 10 when her mom left, it was old enough for her to remember but not quite old enough to understand why, not really anyway. 

Now, at nearly 18, she had spent the last seven years (almost eight) trying to be the perfect daughter. At first it was in hopes that it would make her mom return. If she got good grades, helped out around the house, helped strangers, just did good in general, maybe...maybe she would be worth her mom coming back. Of course, that never happened. However, Laura realized that helping people and being happy herself seemed to make those around her happy, so she kept doing it. Most days it was easy, she enjoyed helping others, she genuinely was happy, and she liked doing well in school.

Today however...was not one of those days. 

Today was one of the days that fell into the 1%.

Today was one of the days where even the thought of getting out of bed was too much.

Today was one of the days where Laura wondered what the point of everything was. 

_‘I wasn’t good enough for my mom to stick around, people only seem to like me when I’m happy, no one bothers to really check in and see how I’m doing, no one cares...why should I?’_

It was with that thought that Laura forced her eyes open, and rolled over into a sitting position, her feet dangling off the side of the bed. She slowly rubbed her heads down her face, a small sigh escaping her lips as she did. She looked around her dorm room, to her left was her desk, with her laptop and textbooks haphazardly placed along its surface. Her roommate's bed was straight across from her, empty, as usual. Laura turned her attention to the foot of her bed, a small smile creeping across her face. She nodded her head to herself, deciding what she needed to do.

Laura hopped off her bed and headed into the bathroom, hoping a shower would help her feel a bit better. Laura knew that she still didn’t handle her depressive episodes perfectly, but she was getting better and better at recognizing them in the early stages and doing the self-care activities that she knew helped. Showering being one of them. Another being photography.

After she finished her shower and got dressed, lose fitting sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt,

_‘Comfort over style today’_

She grabbed her Polaroid camera and headed out the door.

Silas University was located basically in between two separate worlds. A 20 minute walk south of the campus and you were entering the bustling city that is Styria, full of malls, skyscrapers and angry motorists. It was loud and always packed with people. A 20 minute walk north of campus and you were strolling through the quiet streets of the Village of Angler, full of pubs, bakeries and boutiques within buildings that were protected due to their historical value. It was quiet and near desolate. Laura had been into the city a few times over the month that she had been living on campus, here friends loved to go to the mall and restaurants there. She hadn’t yet had a chance to visit Angler though, she had asked Danny a few times to check it out but she always turned her down or pressured her into going to the city instead.

_‘Well...not time like the present.’_

And with that thought, Laura headed out of her building and started walking north.

  
  
  


Laura wasn’t sure how long she walked along the streets of Angler, but before she knew it she was nearly out of film and the sun was starting to set. She decided to head back to campus when she walked past an old bookstore. Dark wooden panels and large windows made up the front of the store, the sunlight was low in the sky and streaming through the glass, illuminating the books inside. Laura couldn’t help the smile that made its way onto her face as she lifted her camera up and snapped a picture.

Walking back to campus, Laura’s stomach growled reminding her that she hadn’t actually eaten today. She decided to stop at the cafe first before heading back to the dorms. She made her way inside and to the counter when she noticed a familiar head of black wavy hair. Laura couldn't help but smile. The mystery girl was in her usual spot, sitting with her legs stretched out along the couch, reading a book. The more Laura thought about it the more she realized that the girl was always reading, and she was always reading a different book. She had never seen her read the same book twice.

“SJ? The girl on the couch, what is her usual order?”

SJ smirked at her before responding,

“Coffee, black...like her soul”

Laura’s eyebrows shot up and her eyes were the size of saucers, shocked at what she had heard, she’d known SJ since the start of the semester and had never heard her say something like that about anyone before.

SJ held her hands up and laughed,

“Those were her words, not mine. She actually seems like a really nice person, just super shy”

Laura nodded her head, and decided that today would be the day that she finally spoke to the mystery girl. She paid for her hot coco and the other girls coffee when her phone started ringing. Laura rolled her eyes and answered her phone,

_‘Unbelievable timing’_

“Hello?”

_“Hey, are you still coming over tonight? We’re all waiting on you to order the pizza.”_

“Laf? Ya I’m coming tonight, but you said to be there for 7.”

There was a small pause,

_“Frosh, it’s almost 7:30”_

“Fuck! I’ll be there soon! Just order the pizza now, I’ll stick with cheese. Sorry!”

Laura ended the call and slid her phone back into her pocket. Which is when she remembered she was wearing sweatpants and a huge sweatshirt, her hair now in a messy bun.

_‘Probably not dressed to make the best first impression…’_

Laura looked down at herself, then over towards the mystery girl, then to the coffee cup SJ just placed in front of her and then back to herself.

_‘Damn it’_

Laura sighed before an idea hit her and she smiled, pulling the small binder out of her backpack and quickly flipped through the pages until she found what she was looking for. She pulled it out and grabbed a pen off the counter wrote a small note and then flagged SJ down before turning to leave

“SJ, I’ve got to go but can you do me a favor and give her the coffee and this? Please?”

SJ nodded as she finished up someone else's order, Laura waved goodbye before heading out the door.

  
  
  
  


Carmilla was enjoying her book, when someone placed a coffee cup and a piece of paper on the table beside her.

“Umm...I didn’t order this.”

SJ smiled at her softly and said,

“I know, someone else ordered it for you. Enjoy”

Carmilla turned around when she heard the familiar ding of the door ring through the cafe, just in time to see a small girl with honey coloured hair walk out of the cafe. Carmilla couldn’t fight the smile that spread across her face. She reached over and grabbed what she thought was a piece of paper only to realize it was in fact a Polaroid of an old book store, the picture was beautiful. Carmilla’s smile grew even brighter when she saw what was written across the bottom.

  
  
  


_Thanks so much for the cookies and coffee! :)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!  
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Not sure how I feel about this chapter...I feel like it sounded better in my head and I didn't write it well enough...mike come back later and clean it up...don't know yet  
> Feel free to leave me a comment! I love getting the feedback :)


	4. Woah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> There is a bit of bullying in this chapter...just to give everyone a heads up

Laura cracked her eye open and groaned as the sunlight streamed through her blinds and directly into her face. She rolled over to face towards the wall and attempted to will herself back to sleep.

_ ‘It’s Saturday, I can totally justify sleeping in’ _

She was feeling better than she was yesterday, still not 100% back to her “normal” self but she would give herself a solid 78%. Which, considering it had only been a day, she argued she couldn’t complain too much.

The walk she went on yesterday definitely helped, as did the Harry Potter marathon. As much as she wanted to be alone, it was nice to spend time with her friends. Even if Danny continued to get on her nerves. Laura frowned and scrunched up her face at the thought. It’s not that Danny was necessarily a bad person, she isn’t. Sometimes she is just too much, too overprotective, too stubborn, too pushy, and last night too condescending. Laura sighed into her pillow, she was definitely going to have to have yet another talk with Danny soon, she was too frustrated to do it last night.

_ ‘Seriously, I went for a walk to take care of myself. I wasn’t late on purpose...she had no right to get all high and mighty last night. Besides...I had my phone on me, she could have texted if she was really that worried. Like she only really seems to “care” when there are people around to see her “care”’ _

Laura flopping onto her back with a groan, running both hands down her face. She closed her eyes and rubbed the heel of her palms over her eyes.

**BANG**

“Frosh! You up!?”

Laura shot up in bed, her heart racing from the sound of the doorknob colliding with the wall, most likely leaving a dent in the wall.

“Laf!? What the hell!?”

Laf winced as they looked at the dent that they had 100% made in the wall, and then quickly shrugged their shoulders and turned back to face Laura,

“You said you would come to the cafe with me this morning to work on assignments. You know I won’t be able to focus if I stay in my room”

Laura narrowed her eye’s at her friend,

“I have zero recollection of this”

“Trust me, you definitely said you’d come”

“I told you I’d get up early on a Saturday to study?”

“Mhmm”

Laf rolled their eyes and sighed,

“You did after I promised to buy you cookies”

Laura beamed at them,

“Ah! Now, that I can believe”

Laf rolled their eyes and laughed as Laura hopped out of her bed,

“Give me an hour to shower and get my stuff together? We can meet in the lobby and walk over to the cafe together?”

“Deal!”

  
  
  


Precisely one hour later Laura found herself walking towards the campus cafe, Laf walking beside her chatting away about hemoglobin and creating synthetic blood for transfusions. To be honest Laura started tuning them out after a few minutes. Not meaning to be rude, it’s just that most of Laf’s science stuff went right over her head. Laf was a third year Biology major and Laura had barely passed grade 12 Biology.

They turned the corner leading towards the “Campus Square” it was a beautiful sight, regardless of what anyone said. There was a huge rectangular strip of grass in the middle where students would sit and study or just hang out when the weather was nice. There were buildings surrounding the square, three of these buildings housed various lecture halls, study rooms and smaller tutorial classrooms. They were on the east, south and west edges of the square. The library was at the north end. Between the grass and the library was a large rectangular fountain...or at least it would be a fountain if they ever turned it on. Right now it was more of a concrete pond with all the rainwater over the last week just sitting in it. Laura scrunched up her nose at the thought. There were a few benches around the north and eastern edge of the “fountain” with a few students seated on each. A couple students would pass by walking either towards or away from the library, chatting with friends as they did. There was a group of guys tossing around a football in the middle of the lawn and a few groups of students huddled near one of the lecture halls. All and all pretty much as busy as Laura was expecting for 10:30am on a Saturday.

Laura tightened her grip on her backpack straps and hiked it up higher on her back, pushing up on her toes slightly as she did. Rather than cut across the lawn towards the right side of the library where the cafe was, Laura and Laf silently agreed to walk around the edge of the lawn to avoid the group of “bros” in the middle.

_ ‘It is far too early and I am clearly not caffeinated enough to deal with all that right now’ _

After a few minutes of walking Laura noticed a familiar sight standing outside of the cafe, near the side of the “fountain”

Black wavy hair and a black leather jacket.

Laura grinned and subconsciously picked up her pace. A few steps later she realized that her mystery girl wasn’t alone. An asian guy Laura had seen around campus a few times stood in front of the girl, a sneer written across his face. Naturally, the girl was once again facing away from Laura but she could tell that the girl’s head was tilted down towards the ground and she was clutching her books to her chest like they were a lifeline. Laura nudged Laf in the side and motioned over towards the girl before picking up her pace once again, trusting Laf to follow. 

“You’re a freak, I don’t even know why you’re here.”

Laura could see the girl fold into herself more. She also noticed that the asian guy wasn’t alone, there was a group of “bros” standing behind him laughing and sneering. Laura just huffed and quicken her pace, moving as fast as her legs could carry her.

_ ‘Why must I have such short legs!?’ _

Laura was just a few steps away when she saw the guy knock the girls books and binder out of her hands. Books scattered across the ground, the binder popped open and papers were flying everywhere. It was literally something out of a nightmare. The girl fell forward onto her knees, both arms wrapped tightly across her stomach. The guy reached down and picked up one of the books that had fallen,

“Seriously, how does someone like you even afford so many books. What are you doing here?”

Laura was furious,

“Hey Asshole!”

The girl didn’t acknowledge Laura but the guy did, he turned to the side and nudged one of his friends and laughed,

“Look, the freak has friends” 

He laughed once more before tossing the book to side, sending it into the “fountain” with a splash, and walking away, hitting the girls shoulder as he did. Laura’s eyes widened at the sight of the book floating open, in the definitely less than sanitary water. She ran over and snatched the book out of the water, a disgusted look on her face at the sight...and smell of the murky water. She turned so she was now facing the girl, she was still sitting on her knees, both arms tightly wrapped around her waist, head tilted down her hair falling like curtains along her face, hiding her from view and she was slowly rocking back and forth. Laura frowned as she looked around trying to find Laf. They, along with a couple students that had been sitting on the benches were currently running around the square trying to pick up as many of the runaway papers they could. Laura smiled at her friend before stepping closer to the girl and kneeling down in front of her, a soft smile on her face.

“Hey, I’m Laura...I’m sorry that guy was such an ass...you didn’t deserve that, no one does. I tried to save your book” Laura held up the now completely waterlogged piece of literature and sighed “but now that I look at it I don’t think I was fast enough...sorry.”

It was with that, that the girl lifted her head, tilting it to the side to look at Laura, as confused and questioning look written across her face, her eyes glassy, full of unshed tears. Cheeks and nose pink from the tears that had managed to slip through. Laura’s eyes widened to a comical size, this girl was the most beautiful person she had ever laid eyes on.

So naturally, Laura’s brain shut down and a whispered,

“Woah”

Escaped her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading! It really does mean a lot :)  
> Please feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you thought! The good, the bad, all of it :)
> 
> This was always how I pictured LAura and Carm meeting...just not sure if I did it justice....
> 
> Until next time!


	5. Waterlogged Literature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I am so so sorry it has been so long without an update! And I'm even more sorry that this chapter is as short as it is...I had some personal stuff go on, then lack of inspiration, then I got sick...its been a mess 😂  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Carmilla tilted her head to the left slightly, the right corner of her mouth twitching up into a small smile. The barely there, half smile quickly turned into a full smile. A light blush tinting her cheeks a pale pink, this time from embarrassment rather than tears. 

Laura flinched backwards from the awkwardness of her own slip, shaking her head, eyes wide, mouth open, cheeks quicky turning a deep red and shock and embarrassment clearly written across her face.

_ 'Stupid lack of filter.' _

"I uh...I just...umm..I mean...y-you...you're.." Laura wildly jestured at Carmilla's body, quickly and with zero finesse, moving her hand up and down in front of her, before breathing out

"Beautiful"

The blush across Carmilla's face deepened as she tilted her head forward, looking towards the ground. Her hair falling forward to once again hide the sides of her face. Carmilla bit her bottom lip before tilting her head back up, tucking some of her hair behind her right ear as she did. She locked eyes with Laura and gave her a bashful smile

"T-thank-you"

Laura was beaming at her, Carmilla watched as Laura quickly pushed herself backwards, her weight momentarily resting on her heels before using her momentum and pushing herself up onto her feet. Laura moved the waterlogged piece of literature into her right hand, using her left to swipe off some of the dirt that had stuck to her knees before extending her hand out towards Carmilla.

Carmilla tilted her head to the side, analyzing Laura. Carmilla's eyes quickly darted across Laura's face, taking everything in. The pink of the other girls cheeks. The brightness of her eyes. The eagerness of her smile. Carmilla's eye fluttered down to the outstretched and in front of her, and then back to look at Laura.

It wasn't until Laura nodded her head, and motioned towards her hand that Carmilla bit her bottom lip and gently grabbed onto the hand being offered to her. 

Carmilla was slightly shocked at the strength and amount of force Laura used to haul her up off the ground. But she was even more shocked when Laura bent down and quickly brushed the dirt off her pants. Carmilla felt her body involuntarily stiffen at the unexpected contact.

Laura felt the girl stiffen, her back ridged. Laura gave her a sheepish smile before speaking,

"Sorry, you...you just..umm" Laura pointed towards Caemilla's knees "dirt"

Fortunately (unfortunately?) for Laura, it was in that moment that Laf decided to make their way back over.

"Hey! I'm Laf! So I think we got most of your papers, thankfully the wind blew them away from the petre dish this school calls a fountain."

Laf finished walking over, clutching a mass of loose papers to their chest, struggling to hold onto all of them while simultaneously trying to not tear or crinkle any of them too much. 

Laura shot Laf a smile before turning back to Carmilla,

"Were you coming or going?"

Carmilla slowly peeled her gaze off of Laf, who was now nearly doubled over pressing their arms into their stomach trying to keep some of the papers from slipping out from under their arms, to look at Laura.

"S-sorry, what?"

Laura gave her a soft smile and gently squeezed her hand before letting go and using her now free hand to point behind her towards the cafe.

"Were you coming or going? If…" Laura bit her bottom lip before continuing "if you were on your way inside...you...y-you could sit with us? Only if you want to of course" Laura moved her hands up in front of herself "no pressure or anything! I uh...I just thought that.. if you wanted...you could sit with us and then I could help you put your binder back together?" The corner of Laura's mouth turning up slightly into a questioning smile. When Carmilla didn't respond right away Laura panicked, "but uh, if you'd rather go home that's cool too…"

"Laura?"

"-or if you just don't want to sit with us that is also cool-"

"Laura?"

Laura stopped her rambling for a second to look at Carmilla,

"Y-ya?"

Carmilla gave her a warm smile, tilting her head to the side

"Do you always have a tendency to ramble?"

Laura blushed, embarrassed, but shook her head,

"N-no! Only when I'm nervous, or excited...or angry..or...okay ya, maybe I do ramble a bit." Laura's shoulders slumped forward, head tilted downwards, dejected. 

Carmilla took a small step forward, breathing deeply in through her nose. Attempting to calm herself before she slowly reached forward, her fingers lightly ghosting across Laura's chin. Gently guiding her to look back up.

"Never apologize for who you are Laura"

Carmilla dropped her hand back down to her side and then raised it a half second later, offering it to Laura,

"I'm Carmilla by the way, Carmilla Karnstein"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading!  
> Please feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you thought! Any and all feedback is welcome!
> 
> Also if you have any suggestions or ideas as to what should happen next I'd love to hear them 😊
> 
> Until next time!


	6. Secondhand Anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I've updated! But I hope you like it!

After they had entered the cafe, Laf had unceremoniously dumped all the papers they had collected on top of the table. They had been organizing papers for about a minute when the Bio Major started to fidget, Carmilla could feel her own heart rate start to increase, her knee bouncing rapidly, in time with Lafs

_ 'Great, now I can suffer from secondhand anxiety' _

Laura had quickly pulled the pile of papers Laf was organizing away from her friend and added them to her own pile, quietly telling them to start working on their assignments instead.

Carmilla and Laf had each sat on one of the ends of the wraparound bench, placing Laura in between the two. Laura slid closer to Carmilla as Laf shot their friend a grateful smile before pulling out their laptop and getting to work.

"They gets anxious if they doesn't get their work done during the time that they set aside to work on it" Laura handed Carmilla an organized pile of papers before continuing, barely speaking above a whisper "their roommate is kind of obsessed with cleaning...so they can't really get much work done there...and the cafe isn't open all day since it's the weekend...so" Laura reached over to her friend and gently placed her hand on their bouncing knee. 

The soft weight of Lauras hand pulled Laf back and slowly the bouncing stopped, they shot their friend a soft "thanks" before moving to slide out of the booth.

"Ima get a coffee, can I get you guys anything?"

"Anytime Laf, and I'll take my usual" 

Laura smiled at her friend, who was now standing at the edge of the table looking at Carmilla, waiting for an answer.

Carmilla looked up and sucked in a breath. Two sets of eyes focused on her. Her heart stopped. Then fluttered. Then started racing. 

_ 'Coffee, black. Just speak clearly and for the love of god try not to stutter.' _

Carmilla opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. She promptly snapped it shut, her heart pounding in her chest. 

_ 'What is wrong with you? It is literally three small words. Medium. Coffee. Black.' _

Her palms were clammy and the cold sweats had started. Her breathing was coming in short, sharp gasps.

_ 'You're ridiculous, you can't even tell one person what your coffee order is? The only reason you drink black coffee is because it is literally the easiest thing to order. What the fuck is wrong with you? You are a burden.  _ **_You're worthle-_ ** _ ' _

"Carm?"

Carmilla hadn't even realized she had shut her eyes until she found herself snapping them open at the sound of her name. 

Laura tilted her head to the side, concern and understanding written deep inside her eyes.

"Can I touch you?"

Carmilla went rigid, eyes wide, her breath caught in the back of her throat, her heart hammering in her chest. She started rubbing the heels of her palms along the front of her thighs. She shook her head as tears started to involuntarily pool in her eyes.

Laura twisted so she was facing towards Carmilla, her left leg tucked up her body, her foot hooked around the back of her right knee. She gave Carmilla a warm smile while making sure to give the other girl plenty of space, and when she spoke her voice was gentle and even,

"That's okay, thank you for telling me."

Carmilla felt her anxiety sputter as her brow furrowed together in confusion. Her hands stilled against her thighs. Not once had she ever had someone respond to her anxiety in such a supportive manner. Well no one other than her brothers, but even they had a hard time dealing with it and understanding it at the beginning.

"Now, you don't need to speak but just nod your head for yes, and shake your head for no. Is that okay?"

Carmilla could slowly feel her breathing return to normal as she sharply nodded her head. She caught the bright smile Laura gave her out of the corner of her eye and her heart fluttered.

"Thank you. Now did you want your usual drink?"

Sharp nod.

"Thanks. Are you okay with Laf getting it for you?"

Carmilla hesitated for a second before slowly nodding her head.

"Awesome! Thanks! Are you okay with me telling Laf your order?"

Carmilla stole a look towards the smaller girl and finally felt her breathing even out. Her heart was still hammering in her chest and her stomach was doing acrobatics, but she was fairly certain that was thanks to the soft smile on Lauras lips and the warm, caring glint in her eyes.

Carmilla nodded her head again while slowly removing her hands from her thighs and bringing them up to rest on the table. She heard Laura recite her order to Laf, and she was vaguely aware of the them walking over to stand in the now very long line of students waiting to order. She heard it and saw it, but it didn't fully register. Her mind was foggy, but her thoughts were racing.

Here was a complete stranger, being considerate enough to ask if she could touch her, not just automatically assuming she could, or should. She didn't make her speak if she wasn't able to, she gave the opportunity to communicate without having to. She spoke to her gently and was pateint with her. And she had somehow managed to calm her and slowed her anxiety attack before she spiraled out and into a full blown attack.

Carmilla looked up and over at Laura and melted at the gentle smile on her face and the adorable tilt to the blondes head. Carmilla decided one thing in that moment 

_ 'I don't know who this girl is but I definitely need to get to know her better….assuming she ever wants to see me again after all this…' _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks so much for reading!   
> Please feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you thought!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> I currently have three other stories in the works for another fandom and my posting schedule is none existent...sometimes you get three chapters in one day and sometimes you go three weeks without even one.  
> I'm going to try and update this story as well as my other stories on a somewhat regularish basis...but I'm not promising anything because every time I do something happens lol
> 
> Not totally sure how I feel about this chapter...it's my first time writing in this fandom so hopefully the writing will improve as I go :)
> 
> Please feel free to leave me a comment! I love hearing everyone's thoughts, suggestions, predictions, etc. Seriously I live for comments lol
> 
> p.s if anyone can come up with a better summery....hit me up :P


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